Three years and eight months.

It’s been three years and eight months; Divorce and death changes everything. It changed my family and most of all changed who I was. At first it seems like you try your hardest to have the complete opposite of what use to be. By making an impulse decision in life to change everything that you once were. Thinking that if you change your life, the pain you are feeling will disappear along with it. I was sadly mistaken. They always say time heals everything and it is true. You just never know how long. I went through a lot of changes, mentally and physically. I realized, there are things you can and can’t change. Acceptance. You restrain yourself for so long avoiding everything that you are supposed to be. I’ve done a lot of traveling lately (16 countries) and you realize life has to go on. I was in Europe for six weeks, sightseeing and meeting new people. In that time I didn’t have much time to focus on myself. It was wonderful! I have realized I spent three years and six months trying to live a life better than the one I use to have. (Wasted? ..Lesson learned)  Well guess what? I don’t want to live a different life and I don’t want things to be different. I am a struggling college student who loves her family and friends. I wake up every day with the joy to see the world. I don’t know if traveling opened my eyes or the time in between. What I do know is life is all the same no matter where you are. You wake up with the decision to be awake. I’m holding onto that forever. I am not ready to wake – I am awake.

Much love,

Meg

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4 thoughts on “Three years and eight months.

  1. Juna Yanoyan says:

    Take it easy. It gets better. Read my latest post http://fierceandlove.wordpress.com/2012/07/29/how-to-be-single/ I hope it puts a smile on your face.

    Fierce and Love,
    Juna

    • Megan says:

      Curl up and roll over is what I shall do ;) I agree, take it easy is right! It feel so good to do that. Thanks for reading Juna!

      Much love,

      Meg

  2. SparrowRose says:

    in 8 days it will be 3 years and 8 months since I lost my husand. I did remarry since then and sad to say….its already over. We decided amicably to do this and it sucks. I was trying to recover what I once was before my husband died…a wife. He treated me like a princess and I wanted it back. I missed him and hated waking up alone. I rushed into something and before I knew it I was stuck and I see that now. It has changed me….all of it, I feel like I need to be alone now, to grieve and figure things out. Death and divorce are almost the same….almost. I have to start all over….again! But this time I know and I have learned. I need to be me and let time heal all of this before I could ever offer my love to another.

    • Megan says:

      If I saw you I would hug you! I tried to do everything to not accept what had happened. Military, relocating. In the end I ended up right back at home, with the same friends and family near by. I had to have that time in between for me to accept what once was and will never be. Fortunately life is still ahead, which leaves us with what will be? We decide. You deserve to figure out you and what you want out of life. I find myself thinking of the past quite a bit, at random times. When I do I try to tell myself everything is as it should be. I wish the best for you, just promise me one thing.. Never blame yourself for anything. And know that you are beautiful and deserve love again, at the right time. Love is patient, Love is kind.

      Much love to you,
      Megan

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