These past couple of months I find myself falling into the pattern of life. As soon as I wake up it’s almost as if I have lost all thoughts because I’m so used to my routine. If you have a time you specifically have to be at work (most of us do) you solely concentrate on making it at that time. My entire thoughts are concentrating on beating the clock. For example, the other day I was rushing through traffic AFTER work. Why? I had nowhere to be, nor did I have a time schedule to follow. I am always trying to beat time, for some reason I think if I beat it, that will allow me more time for my life. But, It’s doing just the opposite. I am concentrating on something that is actually STOPPING me from living. I can take that one step further and say, we are always trying to better ourselves in life. Bettering ourselves can be a good thing, but when we put our life on pause because we haven’t quite reached that goal yet, is never really allowing ourselves to live. I always think to myself, “When I move and start my travels, that is when I will truly exist and feel free.”I have made myself feel better by continuously saying “My repetitive day-to-day routines will all be worth it in the end.” I don’t want to look back at this part of my life and think, “Which part was I really I alive?” I know working and going to school full-time takes energy out of me, BUT I am going to make more of an effort to “wake up” so to speak. I love spending time with friends, each one is so unique and different. I made a list of things to do in my hometown that I haven’t done yet and I sent a copy to friends that live close by. I hope to check one-off once a week. I know I’m waiting to move, but I refuse to let my life be on pause. Each place you’re at in life, is a phase, but why not make them all adventurous chapters in your book? I love adventure, and maybe that is why I feel like I’m going CRAZY! I haven’t figured out if I need to accept the slow times in life or change them? I guess the key here is balance? It never hurts to re-evaluate ones life. Maybe, instead of feeling frustrated with myself, I can accept that I need balance. Too much of anything can be bad, so when I find myself continuously doing the same thing, I will simply switch it up. What I do know, is with my whole heart, I will cherish the small things in life. I definitely cherish family time, but what I don’t realize is there are so many ‘little things’ we don’t even notice until they’re gone. My challenge for myself is to really open my eyes and see the world. The present world I am in TODAY. Walking into a room and notice what color the ceiling is or what pictures are on the wall. Having awareness and passion for the world; living. I am going to just simply LIVE.
Have you ever had something happen to you and you said to yourself, “I should take that as a sign.” For subconscious reasons, we think if we don’t listen to that inner voice, we’re doomed for negative things to follow. I’m not a rule follower, but I almost always find myself saying that.. Most people I know, have ended their marriage with a brutal divorce. Things happen, arguments, cheating.. the unexpected happens. We think if we don’t listen to that sign of when to walk away, we will have a lifetime of unhappiness. That “everything happens for a reason” mentality. Well, what if we break the rules. Loving someone with the knowledge that, NO MATTER WHAT comes our way, we will fight. Fight forever. Not till the end, because who says your love should end? Arguments happen, knowing that person will fight for you, no matter what the “unexpected” is, that to me is UNCONDITIONAL love. I’m sure we’ve all heard, “Baby, I will always love you.” Well you know what, that repetitive statement is well overused. The connection of knowing your love is forever, cannot be described in words. I truly believe it is a once in a lifetime experience. Something RARE and something you should never let go of. People may call it a fairy tale love, or a make-believe love, but I will continue to never settle for anything less than true genuine love. I know loneliness is a popular feeling, which is why people settle for the next best thing. Trust me when I say, Genuine Love is worth waiting for.