As I was driving in my jeep, sitting at a stop light, I saw the leaves flying in the sky as if they were talking to me. Telling me to keep my free spirit going. Keep my head up and my heart open. The sky was purple and yellow, so colorful. I sat at the stop light daydreaming; remembering the feeling of excitement, hope. Life was telling me I had something to look forward to. Feeling the wind and watching the leaves swirl around was a breath of fresh air. Taking the time to notice the beauty that life has to offer saves me. Day by day it saves me. As each day goes on, the crazy pattern of life yet the excitement of not knowing whats going to happen next is my contradicting love for life. There are opportunities to learn everywhere you look. I’m realizing life is about breathing in the moment. Truly listening to the present, balancing that craving to know whats ahead and that regret of what’s behind. Just listen. Allow your thoughts to fade away, as you look into the present moment of today.
I’m always in the same routine. School, work, school, work. NOTHING else. Sometimes I think of running away to somewhere exotic, Switzerland or New Zealand. Am I running away from my routine or is it my state of mind? Being responsible is something I’ve always known. When I was in Venice Beach, seeing the hobos have no worries, fears, or responsibilities was something I was quite envious of. They wake up with no expectations of anything and just enjoy day by day. Smiling at everyone, enjoying the people and music around them. What was it that was so good about their life, that wasn’t in mine? Their state of mind. They’ve seen the worse they possibly could have, they know their life can only get better. Today has been a continuous cycle of pattern, but is it me just saying the same bad thoughts over and over? I’m usually quite the optimistic person, but I am one for adventure and love surprises in life. Right now, my life is just the opposite. I know this is just temporary, I’m working my heart out to save money to have enough money to move. I’m doing this to myself? Happiness is a state of mind NOT a location. There is beauty everywhere, I just need to find it. Today’s continuous pattern has helped me realize, life isn’t always a field of flowers. But how fortunate am I, that I have the freedom to create my own future? That is exactly what I am doing. Waking up and creating my own future. Each day, each routine, is a stepping stone to my dreams. Isn’t it amazing that with each negative thought, we have the ability to learn? Life is beautiful that way. I will continue my routine – taking a breath of fresh air – knowing I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.