It’s been three years and eight months; Divorce and death changes everything. It changed my family and most of all changed who I was. At first it seems like you try your hardest to have the complete opposite of what use to be. By making an impulse decision in life to change everything that you once were. Thinking that if you change your life, the pain you are feeling will disappear along with it. I was sadly mistaken. They always say time heals everything and it is true. You just never know how long. I went through a lot of changes, mentally and physically. I realized, there are things you can and can’t change. Acceptance. You restrain yourself for so long avoiding everything that you are supposed to be. I’ve done a lot of traveling lately (16 countries) and you realize life has to go on. I was in Europe for six weeks, sightseeing and meeting new people. In that time I didn’t have much time to focus on myself. It was wonderful! I have realized I spent three years and six months trying to live a life better than the one I use to have. (Wasted? ..Lesson learned) Well guess what? I don’t want to live a different life and I don’t want things to be different. I am a struggling college student who loves her family and friends. I wake up every day with the joy to see the world. I don’t know if traveling opened my eyes or the time in between. What I do know is life is all the same no matter where you are. You wake up with the decision to be awake. I’m holding onto that forever. I am not ready to wake – I am awake.